Michael Did Not Die From Propofol

The Los Angeles coroner has concluded that Michael Jackson died of an overdose of propofol, according to documents released yesterday.

But what "The King of Pop" really died from, like so many kings before him, was that no one ever told him "no." That's the real root cause of why, at 50 years old, he ended up catatonic in his bedroom with an IV of surgical sedative hooked to his arm, a 6 foot plastic Godzilla staring back at him from across the room, and a jewelry box of fake noses stashed in his closet.

Do you really think that Tudor King Henry VIII died from "over eating" or even morbid obesity? If you knew that he had had two of his own wives beheaded, would you have told him to put down the meat pie and go for a jog?