A previous drunken-driving conviction that had resulted in a suspension of his driver's license did not stop 49-year old Dennis Cretton of Belleville, Illinois, from going on a drunken beer run yesterday — on his yellow riding lawnmower. When deputies tried to stop him, Bretton drove the mower into his home's front yard, his 12-pack of Milwaukee's Best spilling onto the ground along the way, according to the Associated Press.
Ah, the siren's call of "The Beast," Milwaukee's Best, alluringly ice cold in a refrigerator at a convenience store just up the road. So close and yet so far. So beautiful....
He should have crammed bees' wax in his ears and lashed himself to his sofa...... So few people read "The Classics" anymore.
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