Monday, August 17, 2009

Cable News Viewers (And the Women Who Love Them)

Have you ever wondered who watches cable TV news during the day? Well, have you noticed that CNN, Fox News and MSNBC all run many of the same commericals during the day? They also run many of the same ads over and over again, frequently even repeating the same ones during a single commercial break. Collectively, these repeated ads paint a clear, if unflattering, picture of the typical viewer.

He's chronically obese, perhaps morbidly so. (You can tell from the incessant ads for Nutrisystem and Jenny Craig.) As a result, he has trouble getting around and probably uses a motorized wheelchair, as evidenced by the repeated commercials for The Scooter Store. ("Medicare May Cover Your Power Chair!") Nonetheless, he must still drive a car, and yet be getting badly ripped off by his current auto insurer. (At least according to the Geico gecko and the "sassy" young lady in those Progressive commercials.) And I use the pronoun "he" because the endless ads for Levitra, Cyalis and Viagra tell us that he suffers from persistent erectile dysfunction ("or ED," as these commercials all encouragingly chirp).

My question is, who are the women who apparently want these morbidly obese news junkies with ED to turn off the CNN, pop a Cyalis and purposefully thrust their Power Chairs on over to bed?

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