Airplane "Don'ts" For Junior Qatari Diplomats

If you're a junior Qatari diplomat named Mohammed flying on a commercial airline flight in the United States, here are three things to be sure to avoid:  (i) sneaking into the airplane's bathroom to smoke a cigarette illicitly durng the flight, (ii) when confronted by air marshals coming out of the smoke-filled lavatory,  making sarcastic jokes about trying to light your shoe bomb, and (iii) when the authorities then react to poorly to this 'whimsy,' angrily proclaiming your right to diplomatic immunity. 


And it goes without saying, of course, when you're a junior Qatari diplomat named Mohammed, that you will be expected to avoid spending undue time in the airport bar before departure.